Condemnable Love
by sarky-devotchka
Summary: After returning from Voltera, Bella can't bring herself to forgive Edward. As Edward tries to find a way back to her heart, a new kindling love emerges; will it be strong enough to keep him from Bella's shattered heart? Canon pairings.-Indefinite Hiatus
1. The Parting of Ways

I do _not_ own any of these characters and such-SM does: kuddos to the woman! Special thanks to my kickass beta: xparawhorextwerdx (who puts up with me) and to Admittedly Obsessed for the super helpful tips which helped launch this.

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Chapter 1

The Parting of Ways

Bella was tossing and turning in her dark bedroom. Images of bloodstained sheets and bloodthirsty vampires plaguing her mind. She was running as fast as she could, but going nowhere. Helplessly, she fell to her knees, feeling her demise approaching her. A cool hand softly squeezed her shoulder and she whipped her head around. Her eyes grew wide, not believing what she saw.

"Edward?" She whispered softly.

He didn't speak, but of course he didn't, it was a dream. He offered her his hand quickly, and threw her over his shoulder onto his back. This was the worst part of her dream; it was worse than the bloodthirsty vampires who had been chasing after her. Seeing him, feeling him... Wait. Feeling him? She thought for a moment. She always saw his hand, and she took it, but it never felt this cold, this real. She sighed, enjoying the feeling snuggling closer to his back brought. His smell was always so intoxicating, but she never got dizzy in a dream.

"Might as well enjoy it," she smiled.

He then abruptly stopped, making her slam against his body, hard. They were in front of her house now. Slowly, painfully slowly, he took her off his back and turned her around to face him.

She could see the same look in his eyes that he had held several months ago when he left her. Nothing, they held no love, no emotion, what so ever.

"Promise me that you'll be safe," he whispered, and then took off at inhuman speed.

Bella's heart started beating wildly against her chest.

"Please, come back. You can't leave me like this. Not again...I love you," She whispered. She knew he was long gone, and that not even his vampire hearing could hear her. "Fine, go. But I'll never forgive you!" Her breathing became heavy. She was angry.

"Edward!" She woke up with a start, gasping for air.

"Fuck," Bella whispered softly. What the hell was that all about? Even she was startled by what she had just dreamt. Her dreams were never that vivid. Nor did she ever get mad at Edward, but the fact that he would leave her again was appalling.

She could smell him; his sweet scent was lingering beside her.

"Mmm," she said, inhaling his scent, recollecting warm memories of happier days. But then the painful, slowly healing hole in the middle of her chest started unstitching.

"Holy shit!" She jumped, hitting the bed frame. "Ouch, fuck damnit!" She exclaimed, rubbing her sore head.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Edward said, from the corner of the room.

"Well, you did a pretty good job," she said, still rubbing her head. "Wait...wait," she laughed. "I'm totally still dreaming. Bizarre, they're never this real or this weird. I mean the one I just had was totally different, but this is on a whole new level."

Her eyes grew wide. I've officially snapped, maybe I should have seen a shrink like dad said.

"Bella please, please say something love," Edward pleaded. Since he couldn't read her mind, he was growing impatient with her silence.

"I'm thinking that I've snapped. I've totally lost it...literally. I no longer know the difference between reality and well, non-reality. My dad, well Charlie, said I should see a shrink. He was right, because this is so wrong," Bella shook her head in disbelief.

"You think me being here is a dream?" Edward asked, his tone surprised.

"No, I don't think, I know," Bella was sure.

"Why do you think that?"

"You would never come back. I mean, why would you?"

"You don't remember what happened?"

"Should I? I try to block painful memories as much as I can. Maybe I already have," She pondered the idea of how fast she did.

She saw the painful look in Edward's eyes. "What should I remember?"

"Where we've been for the last few days," he said taking a breath he didn't need. "In Volterra."

"Oh....OH! That actually happened?"

Images of crimson red eyes flashed through her mind. Bella running as fast her legs could carry her to get to Edward before he exposed himself. Edward holding her while she went into hysterics. And Alice, did she really show up at her house?

"No," She said in a small voice. Her breathing became rapid, her hands became clammy, and she became paler if it was at all possible.

Edward slowly and cautiously began to get close to her.

No, don't! Just stay where you are," She put up her hands defensively.

"Bella, it happened. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It has to be a dream, a really, really messed up dream."

Edward was still moving slowly towards her. "I said stay there, damn it!"

"Please, Bella, let me show you that I'm here, that I'm not a dream," he was desperate to let her know that she wasn't dreaming.

"I don't believe you. You always, always leave. So let's say you're here, that doesn't mean you'll stay," She smiled sadly.

"I'll stay as long as you want me to."

Bella snorted. "Like I haven't heard that one before," she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Edward was engulfed by guilt and sorrow with every word he spoke.

"Let me rephrase. I won't go anywhere without you, Love."

"No, don't call me that," Bella clenched her jaw in determination.

"What? I don't understand, Lo-"

"That. 'Love'. You've lost that right," Bella tried not to lose her resolve, to let her emotions leak into her eyes. "The day you left me, the day you abandoned me in the forest. You lost that right. The day you told me that you didn't love me. You lost the right to hold me, to touch me, to kiss me, to call me love,"

If Edward's heart had been beating, it would have shattered. Her words were like a shower of knives, each piercing his heart individually.

"Why would you call me love anyway? You didn't want me, why would you want me now?" She whispered, more to herself than anyone else.

Her memories took her back to that moment many months ago when he left her alone in the forest.

_"Bella, I don't want you to come with me," _was the one sentence that shattered her world - and her heart.

_"You...don't want...me?" _Was all that she was able to stutter, trying to absorb this confession.

"Bella...Bella? Please answer me," Edward shook Bella rather violently, trying to snap her out of her daze. It was as if she wasn't even there. She was an empty shell at that moment, her mind far away, lost in her thoughts.

"Please, Bella..." He shook her once more, slightly more gently than before.

"You didn't want me because you didn't love me," She said more to herself again. "I wasn't enough to hold you, I'll never be enough. I thought I wasn't worthy of being loved by you. I thought I was so...insignificant. I was just so...so Bella. I always felt so plain, I was never beautiful enough..." Her voice trailed off, but Edward could take no more.

"Bella, please! Stop talking like that! How could you say such things? I've been alive for over a century, and not once have I been in love until I met you. Everything felt so different, new and strange. Yet everything was so much more complicated and dangerous," He sighed, dragging his long, slender fingers through his unkempt hair.

"It brings me to why I left," He swallowed hard.

"No, don't explain. I honestly don't care. Well, at least, not any more," Her eyes were fierce. "I lived for months thinking that you would never come back. I made my resolve, and realized that you'd never come back. Then there was an unfortunate turn of events. Most of it was my fault, to do with my own stupidity. I had to go to Volterra."

"You _had _to go? Do you _regret_ going, saving me?"

He wanted to know, he needed to know, if Bella still loved him. Edward still loved Bella. He always had, and he always would. He had lied to keep her safe from him and his kind.

After the incident at her birthday, Edward had realized how dangerous they were to her. Jasper had lost control, and any one of them could have done the same, given the circumstances. His entire world was dangerous to her, even his family...

"No, of course not. How could I? I couldn't let you die over a misunderstanding on my part,"

This wasn't what Edward wanted to hear, and he felt a knot develop in his throat. He was never one to cry. Even after he had left Bella, he was strong enough to stop from breaking down. But Bella's words and her indifference to him were proving to be too much.

"I love you Bella. I never wanted to leave. When I heard you calling out after me...it was the hardest thing for me to do. I...for you...to" Edward felt more human than ever before. He was at a loss for words. For once he knew what he wanted to say, but didn't know how.

"For you to believe that I didn't love you so quickly. You believed that I loved you, but then I lie and you believe that so fast. All those months we spent together after all we went through..." His voice trailed away.

"Exactly. After everything we went through, and you still left. Broken promises, even after you promised that you would never ever break a promise to me. How could I believe that you truly love me now, if you lied to me?"

Edward still had his hand on her shoulder. "What did I tell you? Let me go." She said through gritted teeth, and brushed his hand off her shoulder.

"Leaving you was the most difficult action I've ever done in all of my existence. I didn't hate myself; I loathed myself for doing so. I just thought that I was doing the right thing. I only left because I was thinking about you, and what was best for you. You have no idea..." He choked out. "I just thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted you to have a happy normal life with out danger. You have no idea…if I would've known how much pain I would cause you I never would've left."

"It sounds like you're always doing what's best for others. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, you should have asked me before you fucked up my life?" He flinched as she unleashed her fury upon him.

"Get out of my house, out of my room, and don't you _dare _even consider coming into my room at night. Those days are long gone." She swallowed hard, forcing her eyes to not betray her true feelings. "If you go back to school, I am not your girlfriend. You're on the market, I'm sure that'll make Jessica happy. I don't want anything to do with you...or your family. God, I was so stupid,"

"Bella...how can you be so cold?"

"Ha! I was willing to give up my life to be with you forever; literally forever, because I loved you. Then you go on and leave me? When you said goodbye I could see nothing in your eyes. There was no hint of emotion, you were so cold and distant.

You shattered my world. I inadvertently hurt everybody around me. I saw my family suffer because they were helpless. My friends were walking on eggshells being careful not to mention your first name, or even your last name. Pathetic," She mumbled. "I was an outcast for months,"

"I was no better."

***

And he wasn't. After his family moved from Forks, Edward didn't function. He hardly hunted, and he never interacted with his family. His family also avoided him as often as they could. Edward not only missed Bella and felt tremendously guilty for what he had done to her, but he also felt guilty for what he did to his family.

He told his family they were monsters. It wasn't too far from the truth that he had told himself, but they were, in fact, different. They didn't hunt down humans like other vampires, and that's what made them different, the fact that they were still as human as possible. Jasper out of all of them felt the worst: "If it wasn't for me we never would have left. I'm sorry that I can't be as strong as you, all of you. You have no idea how much I hate myself, Edward."

Jasper's constant guilt gnawed at Edward's un-beating heart. His family slowly falling apart was driving him mad. Esme and Carlisle did everything in their power to keep them all together, but it was no use. One night he heard Rosalie talking to Emmett about how she had had enough. Then, another, he had heard Alice trying to console her husband, but he never could. He had no choice but to leave.

Alice never saw this coming. He changed his mind so many times on what he wanted to do, that by the time her vision flashed of him gone, Edward wasn't there. She had been so engulfed on keeping Jasper from falling apart that she had hardly spoken to him.

"He left! Esme, Carlisle, I never saw it coming. I'm so sorry," Alice's small frame shook under her sobs. "I don't know where he's going. He knows how to avoid me, and he won't slip up. If he wants to, he'll _never_ slip up,"

Silence filled their room because they knew she was right.

***

"You brought that upon yourself," Bella said icily, bringing him back into the present.

"You're right," he whispered. "I realize that I had everything with you and I lost it because of my arrogance. Thinking, _knowing_, that I was doing what was right, like you said. I realize now it's far too late. I lost your love, didn't I?" he said choking on his last words. He turned on his heel to leave, taking one more look at the room that held so many happy memories for him. "All of your things from your birthday, I put them under the loose floorboard over there."

With that, he gracefully jumped out of the window, running into the cold night. He didn't dare go back to his home. He ran for what seemed like hours, with literally no direction.

_Ha! I was willing to give up my life to be with you forever; literally forever, because I _loved_ you. Get out of my house, out of my room, and don't you _dare_ even consider coming into my room at night. Those days are long gone_

He tried to absorb her words.

She doesn't love me any more. What did I expect? Apparently, for her to take me back. That doesn't seem to be happening. I hurt her, and the wound is so deep that I can't mend it. I deluded myself into thinking that she'd take me back. I was wrong.

Edward ran and ran, pushing himself harder and faster, trying to remove her words from his mind. He then stopped suddenly.

"She never said my name. Not once could she say my name," He dropped his head to his hands.

xXx

Bella closed her window shut. She walked back to her bed, still not wanting to believe what had just happened.

_Creak_

She moved her eyes to the nearest floor mat and threw it over the loose, creaking floorboard. Throwing herself onto her bed, she pulled the covers over her head. Underneath she clutched a small, butterscotch colored teddy bear she had nicknamed Anthony.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," She whispered into the bear's soft fur.

On one particular sunny day, she decided to go to Port Angeles, because she felt as if she was suffocating in her home. She had walked past a shop and saw the bear in the window. Its bear paws were made of green velvet, and it had a cute, simple, green satin bow tie.

She remembered Edward's eye color from the story Carlisle had told her about his change. Carlisle had described Edward's eyes as a deep green, and the bear's fur was the color of his eyes as a vampire. She remembered that she had wanted to call him Edward, but had settled for calling him 'Biscuit' as a codename, but his actual name was Anthony.

She cried into her teddy bear "Edward, Edward, Edward," she sobbed, feeling like her heart was breaking into even smaller pieces, the pain crippling her.

Over the months, she had learned how to deal with the pain, but seeing him again brought it all back again. Holding the teddy bear close, she cried into the night.

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This is my first try at fanfiction- I'm better at non-fiction writing: HaHa- A LOT of the credit truly goes to my beta. She's really amazing.

-sarky_devotchka-


	2. Barriers

Chapter 2

Barriers

"She doesn't love me anymore, she doesn't love me…Bella," Edward whispered, regretting every action he had committed, all those months ago.

He and his family had decided to stay in Forks until after graduation, but he never thought, not once, that Bella wouldn't take him back. Their love had been so strong that he thought it would overcome any barrier. But that one lie had destroyed everything he had worked to gain, such as her trust and her love. Everything she had ever wanted, from the beginning, was for him to trust her with his secret. She trusted him with every fiber of her being to not harm her, to not killer her because of the lust for her blood. She trusted him with her life because she loved him; destroyed with one lie.

He collapsed on the forest floor not wanting to get up. Lying there, he stayed all night until Alice found him.

"Edward would you please get up? Please," she asked in a small voice. He was perfectly still, if not already technically dead, one would've thought he was.

"I don't feel like it. I just want to lay here, there's no point in me doing anything anymore if she doesn't love me."

"Don't be so dramatic Edward. You're acting like a spoiled child," Alice snapped, regretting it instantly, but he didn't do anything.

"I'm sorry for snapping, Edward, but you need think about what you're going to do now. School starts in about half hour. We really have to get going. And please try not to make a scene at school today. _Please_." She took off piquing his interest.

_Make a scene? _He thought_. Why would I make a scene?_

If Bella had moved on, it was her right. It would hurt, but it was her right. With a heavy heart he got up from the damp forest floor, taking off at top speed.

***

Bella wasn't able to get good night's sleep - Edward had infiltrated her every thought and dream - and she decided to get up early. She took a warm shower, which helped with the tension from the previous night's emotional encounter and her dreams. She dressed quickly, throwing on skinny jeans, a dark blue v-neck shirt, and a black wool coat. When she was done it was time for her to get to school.

It had become customary for Jacob to pick her up for school. But today he was running unusually late. Bella checked her phone and it read: 7:40a.m.

"Gah! Where the hell are you Jacob Black?" She growled down the road, but his Rabbit was nowhere in sight. She sighed, and then she felt her cell phone vibrate.

It was Jacob. "Sorry Bells. I'm not going to make it this morning. I got… um sidetracked since last night. Ask Charlie for a lift. I promise I'll be there after school." Jake sounded sincere, but Bella was angry.

"Sure, sure. But you could've at least had the common courtesy of calling earlier, Jake! You better be there after school," Bella growled into the phone.

"Always am. Bye Bella."

She sighed. Charlie had already left for work, not knowing the predicament his daughter would find herself in this morning. She had about fifteen minutes to get to school, and she had one more alternative left; that both thrilled her and saddened her. At full speed she made her way back into her house and up into her room. She pulled out a small, wolf shape key chain, and a leather jacket Charlie had given her, and ran back downstairs.

With all her strength she opened the garage door and pulled out one of the two bikes she and Jacob had worked on. She was proud of her bike and how great Jacob had gotten them to run.

She threw on her helmet, jacket and made her way to school. Charlie didn't mind much the use of her bike-she had already proven she could handle it, as long as she was careful.

Right, Bella pushed it as fast as she could.

She got to school with five minutes to spare. She tied her helmet to her backpack and ran to class.

Her heart started hammering against her chest_._ She would be seeing Edward today, and every day until graduation. She would also be seeing his other siblings, and wasn't sure how she was supposed to go about the situation.

After homeroom she ran to her locker forgetting that it had been right across from Edward's. When she rounded the corner she spotted him, "Holy shit." was audible enough for him to hear. He snapped his head towards her and for a second they locked eyes.

The students around seem to take in the scene. Neither of them spoke, and it took every ounce of self-control from Edward from walking up to her and taking her in his arms.

_She looks so beautiful in blue. I've always loved that__ color__ on her, it's as if she wore that colour just to torture me_, Edward thought.

The thoughts of everyone in school were making Edward's mind work working overtime; he was starting to feel an ache at his temple.

"_I can't believe they came back!"_

"_I wonder if they're going to end up dating again...wait are they dating?"_

"_Will they get together? I hope not," _Jessica was thinking venomous thoughts, as usual.

"_If he only knew what she went through for months. Poor Bella, I can't even imagine how she must feel like. I wonder if Edward really loved her. What if he did and still loves her? She says she doesn't, I doubt it. Nobody goes through what she did if she didn't love him,"_ Angela thought.

The Bella after he left came to Angela's mind, as she stood in front of her locker retrieving books for her next class. She was more, or less the Bella, Edward loved. It was Bella, but then it wasn't. The beautiful sheen of her brown hair was no longer it was as if it had lost its brilliance. Her face that had once glowed and had written "love" all over it was lifeless, the spark that her brown eyes once held, was gone; they were sunken in due to the lack of sleep. Her clothes fit loosely and every step she took was sluggish.

Edward stared at the floor in complete horror. _I am a monster. I cant…I didn't know…Oh god Bella why? It's no wonder she won't take me back she'll never forgive me._ He felt his knees go weak and grabbed his locker door with so much force he left a dent.

"I hope things work out," she sighed.

But then a happier Bella popped into her mind and she smiled. She had that glow again, _"I know it's because of Jacob. God, he's so good looking, and super nice, and adorable!" _Angela giggled.

Edward jerked his head towards her. He now needed to know what Jacob had to do with Bella. If he was the reason, or one of the reasons Bella wouldn't take him back. His intention had been for her to move on, but Jacob Black?

Bella was sure Edward would be picking at student's minds by now and quickly threw in her helmet and un-wanted books into her locker.

"Hey Bella! I see you brought your bike today?" Angela asked.

Crap, what was he going to pick up in Angela's mind? Bella's heart rate picked up.

"Um, yeah. Jacob wasn't able to pick me up this morning. We should get to trig we're going to be late," she said, dragging Angela to class.

Trigonometry dragged on, literally. Bella annoyed half of the class with her pencil tapping, and after a few dirty looks she continued with tapping her foot. The class before lunch was English, which included all three of the Cullens.

"Oh my god. Ugh what am I going to do? How do I act? Do I just straight out ignore them? This is just frustrating,_"_ Bella sighed.

She sat in her usual seat, took out her books, and waited for the inevitable.

As soon as Jasper, Alice and Edward walked in, a deathly silence fell upon the classroom.

"_I wonder how Jasper is feeling?"_ Bella felt horrible for Jasper. If there was one Cullen she wanted to talk to, it was Jasper.

They all sat around her, Alice and Jasper to her side and Edward behind, but Bella paid no attention. She just looked straight ahead ignoring them and her heart rate, to her own surprise, was at a normal pace.

"Hey Bella, where did you go to these past few days? Were you sick?" Mike said, glancing over his shoulder.

"Yeah," she cleared her throat, "you could say that."

"Well I'm glad you're feeling better. Also, a few of us are planning on going to the movies Friday do you want to come? You should bring Jacob," he smiled.

Bella's eyes went wide. _Oh I'm definitely sending Jake after him, most definitely_. "I always do." _You idiot!_

Bella knew that Edward would find out she and Jacob have been really, really, great friends, but this wasn't exactly the way she imagined it. The fact was that she really liked Jacob.

***

After Edward had left her, Bella was lost. She lost contact with everyone, she didn't function, her grades gradually dropped, and her health rapidly deteriorated. It wasn't until she met Jacob that things changed.

She wasn't looking for anyone to fall for because, according to her, she felt as if she could never love again. Yet, Jacob was comfort for her because he emitted warmth and security. At first, she didn't feel comfortable with the idea because she felt as if she was using him to ease the pain of Edward's absence. However, soon after she realized that pain no longer lingered as it usually did. It didn't hurt as much to think of him or dream of him. Her nightmares altogether stopped.

Charlie's persistence of a social life no longer bothered her and she would usually invite Jacob to hang out with her and her friends. He was a likeable boy.

Truth was, Bella didn't even know she had been falling for her 'friend' because they had agreed on just that. Jacob knew how strongly Bella's felt for Edward, it seemed that her life revolved around him. _"Border line obsessive,"_ Jacob would think to himself. He had tried to make moves on her, but she would push him away, or simply cry. But, Bella had been gradually falling for Jacob's endearing attitude and the way he put up with her. The way he made her feel comfortable, she was able to be more herself. Even after he phased she didn't feel inferior to him, what so ever. This was the major difference between him and Edward. She always felt little compared to the vampires, but with Jacob and his friends, it was nothing but comfort.

***

"So Bella what do you say?" Mike snapped her out of her daze.

She fumbled trying to find proper words. She could feel the three sets of eyes on her.

"Sure, why not?" she shrugged giving him a smile. _Any day with Jacob is a good day._

"I'll ask him and I'll let you know."

"Cool," he said smiling like a moron. He still thought he might have a chance with her, even though he knew how close she and Jacob were; he now thought that Edward had no chance with Bella.

All Bella could do was simply nod. She tried to keep her emotions on check, but her future was a completely different story. At that moment she was emitting, love, guilt, resentment, anger, pain, and lust.

Jasper laughed trying to cover it with a cough. Bella was sure he and Edward were having a private conversation and it unnerved her to no end. Anger, love, guilt, hate, more anger, lust…

Jasper coughed again, "Mr. Hale are you quite alright?" their English teacher called him out.

"Yes, Sir, I just need some water. If I may be excused?"

"Vampires don't drink water,_" _Bella chuckled. Alice cleared her throat. "Crap did I say that out loud?" she thought. And as if right on queue, Alice nodded.

All of a sudden, without even thinking, Bella got up and approached Mr. Masen at his desk. They had five minutes left of silent reading and this would be her only chance.

"May I use the restroom, please? I've _really_ gotta go," she said, bouncing on both feet. He just waved his hand.

There he was, leaning against the wall next to the water fountain. She stood there for a while admiring his tall, lean slender body, his sandy blond hair and stunning beauty.

Timidly, she walked up to him. She wasn't even sure what had given her the impulse to go after him. Perhaps, it was the fact that if she planned to talk to Jasper, Alice would see it.

"Hi," she said shyly.

"I thought you didn't want anything to do with us?" he said quirking an eyebrow.

"That's quite right, but I would like to talk to you." She wasn't exactly sure where this conversation was going, or if it had a point to begin with.

"Bella. I'm part of Edward's family, so either you talk to all of us, or none of us."

Bella hesitated; this wasn't what she wanted.

She decided to start with what she felt, "All of you left. None of you, Alice who was my best friend, said good-bye." He tried cutting her off, but she put a finger up. "Let me finish, please. I loved you all as if you were my own family. I can't help, but feel it's my fault as well. I got attached," she swallowed before continuing. "I let my self fall in love like a fool. Like I would be able to have something special like you and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, or like Carlisle and Esme. I'm just human and I don't think I would ever have that sort of connection, with Ed-him."

It didn't escape Jasper that she refused to use his name.

"Bella, I really don't understand what you're saying. You're mad at us for leaving, but you're also angry with yourself for getting attached? But what does this have to do with Edward and you?"

Bella thought it was crystal clear, "Everything. All of you left with out saying good-bye.

Yet, it wouldn't have hurt as much if I hadn't gotten so attached. I loved him so much Jasper, he was literally my world, if you remember. Then when he told me…god it broke me," she finished in a whisper.

"Bella, your emotions right now are off the charts. I don't understand what you mean.

You're sad, there's so much guilt, anger, regret, love, _lust_," he raised his eyebrows.

She giggled, "That one is all you Jasper, besides you can't blame me for being a hormonal teenager."

"Christ, Bella," he laughed, but his expression quickly fell, "Edward told us to stay away from you, and I would be the last person to say good-bye. I couldn't help, but know that it was my fault we left. If I had more self control," he said sourly.

Bella hugged him. She didn't care if he had the least self-control that of the rest, if she smelled delicious, but for Jasper to feel guilty wasn't fair.

He was taken aback for a moment, but he hugged her back. A few tears had escaped her and he brushed them off her cheek. For a moment, though, he could smell her blood, and the way it flowed through her veins, hear each heart beat, and feel every emotion.

"Sorry Jasper. That was both rude and very un-thoughtful. I just felt as if we never got to spend any time together. Maybe, if you were allowed more time actually interacting me, instead of keeping you away from me, things could've been a bit different."

He sighed, "That might actually be true, very true. So you aren't going to talk to us?" he asked hopeful.

She shook her head, "No. It wasn't as if any of you didn't any free will. It made me think, that maybe you guys didn't love me either."

"Wait? What?"

"Yes, I wondered if, after all, your family loved me?"

"Bella, how could you even think that?" Jasper was shocked.

"I can't help it. He didn't, what are the odds that any of you did?"

"What? What do you mean, he didn't?" Jasper was completely lost.

"Edward, he didn't love me. He never did," she smiled up at Jasper, tears threatening to escape.

She took a deep breath before continuing, "That's why you all left; wasn't it? If he didn't love me, there wasn't any reason for any of you to stay. Still, it wasn't as if you couldn't say good-bye." She sighed, "That's why I thought maybe none of you didn't love me. Maybe, you just went along with Edward because you had to," she finished.

"Bella…I…don't know what you are talking about." Jasper was still trying to absorb her words.

For months he thought he had been at fault for driving Edward away from Bella; his family was nothing but a danger to Bella, especially after her birthday. Not once did he think Edward wanted to leave because he didn't love Bella.

But Edward loved Bella and that was obvious, Edward had lied to her. However, he had undone everything his family had worked for, for years; differentiating themselves from the their own kind. Not once did he help Jasper ease his guilt. Edward had lied to Bella and he had used, exploited, his families' weakness.

"You know how absurd that sounds right?" Jasper finally spoke trying to make sense of everything.

Bella opened her mouth to speak, but Jasper cut her off, "No, it makes perfect sense. He lied to us about everything," he whispered.

At that moment the bell rang leaving Bella confused, angry and irritated. They had spent the entire period talking and they hadn't realized what time it was.

"Bella, I don't want Edward to know about our conversation. I'll explain everything to you, I promise you. Any tips on how to keep him out?" he tapped his head.

"You've lived with him for years, literally. Hmmm…I've had ABC by the Jackson Five stuck in my head for a few days now. I'm pretty sure you know the tune," she winked.

Jasper was able to talk himself and Bella out of a detention for missing an entire class. Jasper could be just as dazzling as Edward.

"Jasper what did you and Bella talk about?" Edward demanded to know.

Jasper was grinning from ear to ear; he started humming.

"Alice, if you don't stop him right now I will tear him limb, from limb," Edward threatened.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said ignoring him.

Jasper was singing non-stop. However, he was both disappointed and angry with Edward. He had made the people he loved miserable; he used what the circumstances to his advantage.

A loud growl escaped from Edward's chest.

"Temper Edward," Jasper said.

"Jasper, you better not push him any further today. He might make a scene after school,

everything is fuzzy right now, but it seems like he is," Alice scowled.

"Damn it Alice, you too?"

Alice was reciting the periodic table of elements. She was going about it different ways, non-metals, metals, properties, and their key information.

"Well, it's less annoying than Jasper, but I don't need to know the history behind the table of elements. Well I suppose it is less annoying than what Jasper is doing."

"Oh no, Edward, my dear. That's not even the half of it," she gave him a wicked grin. He groaned.

They made their way to lunch grabbing their prop lunch trays and sitting at their usual table. It felt strange to Edward, not sitting with Bella. He had already done a quick scan of the hall and she was sitting with the crowd she had sat with on the first day she arrived.

"Bella, Edward keeps looking at you," Angela said.

Angela had always been a very perceptive person, and always took in great details of each of her friends, and was usually well aware of her surroundings. Even when Bella denied all help from her during her near comatose state, she still tracked her personal well-being.

"Don't stare Angela."

"I'm not staring, I'm just pointing the obvious," she said nibbling on her straw.

He was in fact looking at Bella. He was yearning to have her in his arms, caressing her face, kissing her with his cool lips, and feeling her soft warm body up against his.

Jasper could feel that sadness and longing coming from Edward. He helped him with his emotional pain for the time being.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"So, Edward. What exactly are you going to do to win her heart back?" Alice said playing with her pudding.

He gawked at her. "Are you serious? She just said last night that she doesn't want anything to do with us."

"Well, apparently she doesn't mind Jasper, so that's a start!" she gave Jasper's hand a squeeze.

"Yeah, but he doesn't want to tell us what they spoke about," Edward said angrily.

"No, I didn't say that. I won't tell _you_, but that doesn't mean I won't tell the others, or at least Alice," he said kissing her hand.

With one swift movement Edward got up and walked away.

"I told you, love, don't push his buttons. He's going to make a scene today after school, unless we do something about it."

"I'm sorry Alice, but if you knew," he shook his head.

"I want to know. I need to know, she's my best friend. I've missed her very much," she said laying her head on his shoulder.

"I'll tell you everything. Just, promise you won't get upset with Edward. Ever since I've lived with all of you, he's never been able to live with himself; with what he is, what we are. He's always seen himself as a monster," he laughed darkly. "I've done the unimaginable and he calls himself a monster, but he's never had someone, like I have you. I think he was just afraid."

"Jasper, I love you."

"I know," he laughed.

Just then the bell rang. All around the hall the shuffling of feet and pushing of chairs could be heard.

"Where do you think Edward went?"

"His car most likely," said Alice.

"Lets just make it through the rest of the day with out incident and we'll talk about what Bella and I talked about. Then we'll see how we go about telling the family," Jasper sighed.

"Okay, but getting through the day 'with out incident' part is going to result problematic," she grimaced. "I now see that our beloved brother is going to cause somewhat of a scandal after school."

"Great, like the last thing we need is attention," he ran his fingers through his locks. "Lets get to class and see how we deal with the rest of the day, love."

They both made their way to the class. Jasper was internally conflicted, he knew that telling his family his newfound information was going to hurt them, and he also owed Bella the truth.

Alice had yet to tell him about the so-called scandal Edward would cause after school, and that too had him on edge. Somehow he knew it wasn't going to be good, it was obvious that it had something to do with Bella, but what would cause him to lose his temper?

"Jacob Black," Alice mouthed.


	3. Chapter 3

Diclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of it's amazing characters; however I do own season one of Dragon Ball Z.

Thanks to my beta xparaxwhorextwerdx. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 3

"Bite and Make Up"

Immediately Jasper understood why Edward would lose his temper. _I have to do something_. If Edward and Jacob were going to get into a fully fledged fight in the middle of the school parking lot, they'd give away their respective secrets. And he couldn't let that happen.

"What exactly do you see?" His fingers ran through his hair as he questioned Alice

"Well this much I have concluded, and that is that I can't see the wolves."

Jasper gave her a questioning look.

"They aren't in my visions, it's somewhat difficult to explain. It's as if they didn't exist. I've tried looking for Jacob, but he's just not there."

"So, how do you know he'll be coming after school?"

"Because Bella disappeared." she simply shrugged.

"You lost me."

"It's not difficult, really. She was right outside in the lot, and when I looked for her again, I wasn't able to find her. Bella simply disappeared."

"So, it as if the wolves block your visions? It's some sort of ability of theirs?"

"I guess it's a perk for being a wolf."

Jasper was anxious to get the day over with. He kept fidgeting.

"Okay, even for a human that's just a little too much Jazz," Alice teased gently.

He sighed.

"I can't help but feel nervous. What are we supposed to do? We can't very well intervene in this situation; we could make it worse. You know how stubborn Edward can be, and how overprotective of Bella he is. When he sees Jacob with Bella…"

"He'll throw a fit, and tell her how dangerous they are, and how she shouldn't trust them. I know, I know."

He then felt a wave of sadness, regret and longing come off Alice.

"What's wrong?"

"I really miss Bella. I know I totally messed up, but I want to be her friend again," she said. The expression on her face said it all, he had to make things right, soon.

"You didn't 'mess' up anything, love," he said kissing her hair.

Meanwhile, Edward had been sitting in his Volvo not knowing what to do, but he always knew what to do. Feeling hopeless and confused were different array of emotions he wasn't very much used to. What frustrated him further was he was never able to control his emotions; he always lashed out at the wrong people.

He leaned his head against the window, and helplessly stared out into the cloudy day. That's how his life had always felt. Unappealing. His mood was always dark, or depressing. Until he had met Bella, finally, the clouds had cleared and everything was alive.

He sighed, "Now, I don't know if my sky will ever clear of its torrential storm."

The final bell of the day rang, and swarms of students started making their way into the hallways and parking lot. The echoes of sneakers, slamming lockers, and mindless chattering flowed down the halls and through the air. Edward was able to pick up all of it.

"Hey!" Alice opened the door while Jasper slipped in through the back.

"I'm sorry…" He began but Jasper interrupted him.

"Don't Edward. I shouldn't be so dismissive about your feelings, and I of all people should know." Edward simply nodded, but was grateful he didn't have to go into full apology mode.

All three vampires turned to listen to the sound of a distant rumbling. As the rumbling grew nearer, it was apparent that it was the thunderous roar of a motorcycle engine.

Alice looked annoyed, Jasper felt giddy, and Edward angry.

He swiftly got out of the car, but not before Jasper stopped him from doing anything else.

"Easy Edward. What are you planning on doing? Do you really want to get into a fight-_here?"_

"Thank you, Jasper."

"Jasper! No." Alice's vision was too late as she tried to warn Jasper to not let go of Edward. He was now feet away from Bella.

Bella was just making her way out of school when she caught sight of Jacob. Her face lit up instantly. She was about to run her wolf, when something caught her sleeve.

"What in the world?" She turned around, "Holy Hell Edward!"

"Bella, can we talk, please?" He said looking right at her.

She started shifting on her feet, and was rather uncomfortable at the awkward situation she was in.

I want to say yes, but what if he just says something that breaks me again? It's better if we don't talk after this…like EVER! She fought with her inner conscious.

"I-I don't think it's a good idea," she said firmly. Then she remembered the day he left her in the forest, the way he looked at her. His eyes had held no emotion, they held a bottomless depth, nowhere was she able to find one hint of love, apology, or regret; they were simply void of any emotion. His golden eyes were hard and cold…Her heart clenched and desperately tried to fight the tears that were threatening to spill over.

Edward could sense her emotion, sadness written all over her face.

"Bella, I don't know how to tell you or show you how sorry I am, and that I'll _never _leave you. How can I make it up to you? Please tell me because I don't know what to do," he whispered. "I don't know what to do."

Bella could hear the desperation and the hurt in his voice, and there wasn't anything more that she wanted to do than to take it way. And she knew then, that she wasn't fooling anyone. He, Edward Cullen, still held her heart. But she if she was ever able to trust him again was the question. She had trusted him with her heart, with her life, and he destroyed it. Trust had been one of their bases of their relationship, and it was shattered with one lie.

"Neither do I, neither do I," she said feeling as if her heart was being shattered all over again.

"Bells, maybe we should go now." Jacob had been watching the exchange from a distance. He didn't want to interfere, but seeing Bella hurt was a sight he was no longer use to seeing.

"I don't think we were done yet," Edward said glaring at Jacob.

"Said who?" Bella challenged.

"Bella please." Edward looked pleadingly into her eyes.

"I think she's done talking with you," Jacob cut in.

"You're cutting my patience short, _dog_," he said angry.

_Oh hell no_ Bella thought.

"Don't you ever insult them, ever," she said looking vivid.

"Bella how could you defend them!? Do you have any idea how dangerous they are?"

Bella snorted. Wolves, dangerous?

"How could you not take this seriously? How could you put your life in the hand of wolves? They are immature, volatile, and utterly dangerous - especially when they're young," he said staring straight at Jacob.

She laughed, finding the irony in it all.

"Are you freaking kiddin' me? Really? That sounds vaguely familiar to me."

"What?"

"Vampires and werewolves don't sound so different. Aren't young vampires supposed to be dangerous, especially when they're young? And don't tell me Emmett is mature!"

If Edward didn't feel so offended he would've found the last statement fairly funny.

"How dare you compare us to…to those mongrels," he said furiously.

"What did I say!?" She yelled, causing a few by standers to turn around.

"Bells, this…this lee-moron isn't worth it. Lets go you're only getting up set." He grabbed her hand and steered her towards her bike.

"Wait," Edward said putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Edward, just leave me the hell alone."

"Listen man, just let her go," Jacob tried to smooth things over.

"Don't meddle in affairs that which don't concern you," he said in a low tone.

"Look, if you're trying to intimidate me it isn't working. And Bells is my concern, she has been. You left her broken, but I was there to be her everything: friend, 'dog,' significant other."

A crunching sound echoed through the parking lot.

"Ouch, son of a…" Jacob said rubbing his jaw. Edward's temper had bubbled over the surface, and hit Jacob right on the jaw. "You broke something!"

"Jacob! Are you okay?"

Next, Edward is stumbling across the lot.

"One for one, leech," Jacob was seething. "Bells, I'm sorry."

Edward was ready to strike, but Jasper was there in a heartbeat. All of a sudden everyone felt serene.

"Christ, Edward. Two words, anger management," he said. He had both of Edwards arms pinned against his back. "I'm going to let go. If you try to strike Jacob again, I _will _beat the shit out of you." This caught Edward off guard because he hardly heard any of his siblings curse.

Emmett must be rubbing off, he thought.

"Fine."

Jasper moved in front of him after letting go. "I'm really sorry about that. Jacob, I hope he didn't cause much damage. Please, don't think ill of him; he just…it's just difficult to explain. For that matter, don't think ill about the rest of the family. Don't let one incident make you judge our family."

"No, Bella has spoken well about your family. Vegetarians?"

"Yes, I'm sure Bella has," he said looking at her.

"We'll see each other soon. Come on, wait 'til mom hears about this," Jasper said pushing Edward towards the car.

***

"Esme!" Alice yelled, not that she needed to, but she thought it would add an affect to their story.

"I could hear perfectly fine Alice. Oh dear. What happened?"

She could feel anger, frustration, and irritation pouring out of Jasper.

"Edward happened that's what. You're telling her, that's your punishment for being an idiot."

"Jasper! Don't insult your brother, but please tell me what happened."

"I-I hit Jacob Black," I said feeling ashamed.

She gasped, "You did no such thing!"

"In the school's parking lot," Alice threw in.

"But…but…How could you? Are you…" she couldn't finish her sentence.

"An idiot? Yes, yes he is," said Jasper still irritated.

"Jasper, calm your self down. I can't even form a coherent sentence."

"Sorry Esme."

Relief washed over everyone.

Finally, Edward went into every detail about what happened, Esme gasping at the right moments.

"Edward, I'm really disappointed at you. It's one thing to lose your temper, and another to take it out on someone who didn't do anything to you. And you did this in front of Bella!"

He would rather have her mad than disappointed.

"I know, I guess it's in my nature to mess things up," he smiled weakly and left.

**

Back at Bella's place, Jacob too was trying to fight off his own guilt.

"I'm sorry Bells, I didn't mean to hit him. But I couldn't see him hurt you. Damn it. Turn the other cheek and all that, right?" He said rubbing his jaw.

"No, I would've done the same thing. Are you okay, though? I mean I heard that."

"Huh? Oh, that. Nah, it healed. But there is something else," he said looking uncomfortable.

"What?"

"Umm, I don't know…"

"Spill it Jacob," she said getting impatient.

"About the little vampire. The one that looks like tinker bell, but with black hair."

"Oh, Alice? What about?" she said laughing, only Jacob would say something like that.

"Well, she looked really sad when I was sitting on my bike. I don't think she noticed me looking, but I noticed her. The way she was looking at you, like she just wanted to run up to you and hug the crap out of you. It looked like she really misses you. It kind of broke _my _heart, and I'm talking about vampires! They're supposed to be my enemies and what not."

She felt guilty, poor Alice. All ever Alice had wanted from Bella was to be her friend. Then she realized how much she too missed her.

"Oh Jacob!" she lunged herself at Jacob and started to cry.

"Err, yeah," he patted her head not knowing what just happened.

"I miss her too, but what do I do?"

"Go say hi. I doubt she'll come apologize, even though I'm positive she wants to. Tinker's just scared you'll send her way, too," he shrugged.

She cried some more.

"Okay, I'll shut up now," he said scared now.

"No, god your logic makes sense! I have to go," she said taking off.

"I'm not standing here," he mumbled.

"I love you, Jake!" She said from the living room.

"Bella, wait!" She stopped in her tracks.

"You aren't going to stop me are you?"

"Of course not, but listen; I'm not psyched that the vampires are back," he said.

"Wait, where is this coming from?"

"After seeing what you went through," she avoided his gaze.

"Hey, look at me Bella," he tilted her chin just slightly, "but all I want, and all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. If they make you happy, then fuck it," he laughed, but became very serious. "However, please be careful. I know you're a big girl, but he hurt you once, please don't let him hurt you again."

"Jacob what are you saying?" she whispered.

"Geesh Bells don't make this harder, yeah? It's not freakin' secret how I feel about you, but I know you still love that vampire. I can't compete with that kind of love," he sighed.

Her heart broke. Bella loved Jake, in her own way. Not the way she loved Edward, with a passion, and intensity that would burn a lifetime, but with warmth and care.

_Had I loved Jacob? Surely, he had taken care of me and healed me, so do I love him? I feel like I…I…shit, shit. _

"Bells, you okay?" She had been staring off into space for the last minute, and had begun to scare him.

"Jacob, I don't know what to say. I'm going over to make up with Alice, and I'm going to leave it at that. And, I'm still going to that school dance of yours. I promised, Jake I owe you more than you can imagine."

"Sure, sure. Now get going," he laughed.

***

"Alice, what's wrong?" Jasper asked concerned.

"Nothing everything is perfect!" she squealed.

"Bella is coming! She's not far from here; I could see her now! Screw this, I'll meet her half way," she bolted out the door.

Jasper chuckled, "I have to make sure to thank Bella."

"Bella?" Carlisle said coming from the living area.

"Yes, apparently she's coming over, but impatient Alice couldn't wait."

"So, she went to go meet her half way, I assume?" Carlisle said laughing.

"Yes, I'm glad she's coming over. Alice had been really sad, it was radiating off of her constantly. I knew she tried to play it off, but I mean I've known her for some time now," he said in an understatement.

"She's only coming over to make up with Alice?" Carlisle asked in a sad tone.

"That's what she said. Hopefully not," Jasper sighed.

Alice got to Bella in less than ten seconds.

"Bella! Bella! Bella!"

"Gah!"

"Crap sorry!" Alice had popped a few feet in front of Bella's path, and had made her come to screeching halt.

They both stared at each other for a few seconds. Alice made no move to hug Bella, but all she wanted to do was run to her.

Bella cracked a huge smile, "Oh come on Alice!"

"Oh, Bella!"

Bella sprinted to Alice, "oomph," Bella let out a gust of wind. She'd forgotten how strong vampires were; wolves were strong, but they had muscle to soften the impact.

"Bella, did I hurt you? I'm sorry, I forgot how 'fragile' you are."

"It's alright, I forgot how 'strong' you are," she replied, then let out a giggle.

"Bella, I'm…I'm so, so very sorry. You have no idea how much I missed you. I didn't want to leave, please…I'm sorry," she said looking pleadingly at Bella.

"Alice," she sighed, "I don't think there's any way I could stay mad at you. I missed you, too. How could I not? It hurt everyday. When you all left, I thought I had just been any other human to all of you," she said crying.

"No Bella. Please don't think that. We all love you, and we all missed you. I know Rosalie did too, in her own twisted way," she laughed. "Lets go say hi to everyone else."

The roaring engine from Bella's motorcycle was heard from down the long road.

Edward had been lying in his room listening to everything unfold. If he had a heart, it would've been stammering at a humming birds rate. He wasn't sure weather or not to go meet her as well, or just stay put. Sigh.

"Look who came?" Alice said bounding into the room.

"Hi everyone," Bella said timidly avoiding everyone's gaze.

"Bella, I would like to apologize," Carlisle started.

_This is going to get awkward. _

"Carlisle, err, please don't. It's…it's okay." However, it really wasn't. Bella was planning on being careful, like Jacob had said she had been hurt once, she wasn't going to allow for it again.

"Hello Bella," Esme appeared next to Carlisle.

"Hi, Esme."

Esme, like everyone else, truly missed Bella. She had always thought of her as a daughter. Ever since Edward had fallen in love, she was thrilled to meet the girl who had been able to win over her son's heart. Esme wanted Bella to be part of her family, but of course her son would have none of that. However, the question now was if Bella still wanted to be part of her family.

"My dear Bella," Esme took a tentative step toward her. Bella lunged herself into her arms.

"I missed you horribly, Esme."

"As did I sweetie."

"Bella, you need to sleep over! There's so much wee need to catch on," Alice said excitedly.

Remember no getting attached, Bella told herself.

"What if I stay for a while? And maybe come over Saturday?"

Her face fell.

"We could go to Port Angeles, or something. We could even shop?" she cringed at her last words.

Alice's jaw dropped, "Shop? Did Bella just say shop?"

Her, 'not getting attached' plan was already failing miserably.

"Yes, yes I did," she sighed in defeat. "Where's Emmett, and well, Rosalie?"

"Oh, them? They went on their umpteenth honey moon," Esme said laughing.

"Maybe it's time we took a honey more of our own," Carlisle looked into Esme's eyes.

Jasper gagged, Bella burned red, and Alice cringed.

"Ugh, you're technically our parents, and _I'm_ the one who can read minds, so please keep that in mind both of you," Edward said as he came down from his room.

The tension in the room grew thick, as both he and Bella made eye contact. There was a mixture of love, anger, regret, sadness, confusion and lust; Jasper almost looked sick. He desperately tried to take handle of the situation, but the feelings were strong.

_Happy thoughts, Happy thoughts,_ Jasper chanted in his mind.

Carlisle cleared his throat, "Alice, why don't you and Bella go to your room." It wasn't a question.

Bella mumbled a quick 'Hello' to Edward as she walked by, and he simply nodded.

Edward watched her greedily as she ascended the staircase. He had never wanted anything more in his existence than to be with her at that moment.

"Son," Carlisle started.

"I have to go," he lied, naturally. Nowhere in particular to go, he left.

"What are we going to do Carlisle," Esme said feeling hopeless.

"I…I don't know, love," he said, putting a comforting arm around her.

"If they still love each other, the way I know they do, then I'm quite positive they'll find a way back to each other's hearts. Edward has much ground to cover, however."

***

"Jasper! No one invited you to this party," Alice whined. She wanted alone time with Bella.

"Alice, don't be mean," Bella complained.

"Yeah Alice do not be mean. She's my friend too," he said smiling.

"Fine, but if you get bored with our talk, feel free to leave." Jasper simply rolled his eyes.

"Bella, I'm glad you…" Both Bella and Alice stared at Jasper in confusion.

He started laughing, "I'm sorry girls, I was going to say 'kiss and make up' but it would be more like 'bite and make up,'" he finished laughing at his joke.

Bella chuckled, "That's kind of funny, but…"

"Lame, just lame Jazz. I'm not going to lie to you to spare your feelings."

"Well Alice, I thought it was hilarious," Jasper said.

"That's because it was your joke."

The room went quiet, nobody knowing where to start, at the end or at the beginning. Finally, Bella spoke:

"Alice, for the record, I want to say I'm sorry. Maybe, I was acting a bit harsh, or irrational. I shouldn't have been, been, been…ugh so fucked up!" She threw her hands up in frustration. She knew she was being a bit irrational being mad at all the Cullen's.

"Bella, sweetie, you have nothing to apologize for, honestly. It should be me the one throwing apologies left and right, the way we left. You are my best friend, and to have left the way we did, is unforgivable," she said sadly. "I didn't even say good-bye."

"Alice, I, I don't blame you. Honestly."

"I thought you weren't going to speak to us for a long time, well besides Jasper," this gave her a thought. "Speaking of Jasper, are you going to tell me what you two talked about?"

Bella and Jasper both looked at each other, neither of then knowing what to say. Jasper had already promised to tell Alice what they talked about, but he wasn't sure of how he was going to tell her. Give her a sugar coated version, or tell it like it was, cruel, cold and unimaginable.

Neither of them needed to have mind reading powers, they could read it in each other's eyes. A can of worms was about to be opened; however, Bella was oblivious. She didn't know Edward's truth.

"Well, I'll be damned," whispered Jasper.

* * *

A/N: Hopefully these pop up. OK: Update might take longer than usual. My beta has been really busy lately so she hasn't been able to get back my chapters and I don't want to post up just anything. So, meanwhile check out my favorites list. Trust me...some of them are really good! And I'm sure most of you have read them. Reviews are nice, I know some of you suscribe--so review! :)


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